Chat the First

(Ed: Occasionally, or perhaps more often than not, thoughts worth noting come in conversation and not in, ironically?, thought. This might be one of those examples, depending on your definition of worth. Oh, and also note that any outrageous statements are done in that subtly veiled form of sarcasm that just does not translate to the written word.)

Friend says:
lol
we need to invade the US

Me says:
as if
people should start listening to me about the PAU, or Pow as i say outloud

Friend says:
we'll take all the northern states and the mid west on our side

Me says:
Pan American Union
from Fairbanks Alaska to Santiago Chili
Chile***

Friend says:
i dunno man, there's a lot of non-whites down south we'd have to get rid of

Me says:
yeah...

Friend says:
we can't use germs as an *coff* excuse anymore

Me says:
well I wanted to exploit their resources for the coming war with the reds, not slay their people

Friend says:
true, plus they have a ton of oil

Me says:
everyone does
its just a question of whose backyard you want to get dirty

Friend says:
lol fair enough i guess

Me says:
if we dug like the arabians, we'd have oil like the arabians
the arabians do have more deposits
yes
but they also have a whole lot of NOTHING that NO ONE cares about drilling through and fucking up
there is no cute wildlife to spill oil on and take pictures of
easier to drill when california's stupid redwoods don't exist

Friend says:
bad, we'll cut them down soon enough

Me says:
uhh
i double dare you to go there and say that after

Friend says:
once arnold becomes supreme commander

Me says:
herr commandant?

Friend says:
exactly
i'm taking german in school
first year course
plenty of 18 yr old virgins
terrible

Me says:
fucking genius

Friend says:
ja ja

Me says:
winter's the worst
no salaciously hot ***VOCATIONREMOVED***'s
that doesnt happen til peak season ***WOOPS***
and then when the college girls get home

Friend says:
lol

Me says:
you there
you're not allowed to look that good

Friend says:
haha

Me says:
I always use my best pick-up line
It's from Coming to America
eddie murphy's best movie

Friend says:
i agree

Me says:
Girl
You look so good, sombody oughta put you on a plate and sop you up wit a biscuit

Friend says:
hahahaha