The Corporati Keep Killing America

Good-bye, Jacob's Field. We hardly knew ye...

Die, America, Die...

(And buy some Car Insurance, assholes...)

Did You Know that Spock has been Watching Over You, Canada?

Spock your Fives

Katherine Heigl; a Paragon of What is Wrong With America

This article, though slightly dated [that is so last year -ed.], shows what wondrous things a selfless ego can do for society.

"But the reality is, I really, really, really want to go, so I would really like it if they would get their waiver because I think it's a really awesome night to celebrate."

She is talking about her guild, which I would guess is the Screen Actors Guild, and the waiver she wants is so she can feel ok with herself [Ok with her PR? -ed.] about crossing HER WRITERS' picket line.

Long story short:
She supported the strike before she was nominated for a daytime emmy or whatever the hell they give to sham actresses on a sham show, but now that she sees her one chance ever to win an award for participating in a sham evaporating, she's willing to walk across a picket line and bask in her self-rewarding glory at Hollywood's most well-to-do dinner party. [Luncheon. It's the daytime emmys, remember? -ed.]

You know, because being nominated as an actor or an actress had nothing to do with your writers... and I don't know if you've looked outside recently, bitch, because its 2000-fucking-8 and your writers are being screwed out of internet royalties. (You know, the small doses people can actually handle you in.)

Solution:
Katey H can take the high-road, and get twice as much positive PR by showing up in a smashing dress, REFUSING the walk the red carpet and talk to the-crazy-face-d-bitch [He means Mary Hart from ET. Or is that E.T. from ET. -ed.]. Bring beer, or just refreshments, some banners and posters and JOIN the protest, but do it looking fucking glam with all your Hollywood friends! You get the best of all worlds, and you actually promote labour justice in this country.

(As farcical as the notion may sound...)

Emm...

If I may be so bold as to verb the word ring tone

Chat the First

(Ed: Occasionally, or perhaps more often than not, thoughts worth noting come in conversation and not in, ironically?, thought. This might be one of those examples, depending on your definition of worth. Oh, and also note that any outrageous statements are done in that subtly veiled form of sarcasm that just does not translate to the written word.)

Friend says:
lol
we need to invade the US

Me says:
as if
people should start listening to me about the PAU, or Pow as i say outloud

Friend says:
we'll take all the northern states and the mid west on our side

Me says:
Pan American Union
from Fairbanks Alaska to Santiago Chili
Chile***

Friend says:
i dunno man, there's a lot of non-whites down south we'd have to get rid of

Me says:
yeah...

Friend says:
we can't use germs as an *coff* excuse anymore

Me says:
well I wanted to exploit their resources for the coming war with the reds, not slay their people

Friend says:
true, plus they have a ton of oil

Me says:
everyone does
its just a question of whose backyard you want to get dirty

Friend says:
lol fair enough i guess

Me says:
if we dug like the arabians, we'd have oil like the arabians
the arabians do have more deposits
yes
but they also have a whole lot of NOTHING that NO ONE cares about drilling through and fucking up
there is no cute wildlife to spill oil on and take pictures of
easier to drill when california's stupid redwoods don't exist

Friend says:
bad, we'll cut them down soon enough

Me says:
uhh
i double dare you to go there and say that after

Friend says:
once arnold becomes supreme commander

Me says:
herr commandant?

Friend says:
exactly
i'm taking german in school
first year course
plenty of 18 yr old virgins
terrible

Me says:
fucking genius

Friend says:
ja ja

Me says:
winter's the worst
no salaciously hot ***VOCATIONREMOVED***'s
that doesnt happen til peak season ***WOOPS***
and then when the college girls get home

Friend says:
lol

Me says:
you there
you're not allowed to look that good

Friend says:
haha

Me says:
I always use my best pick-up line
It's from Coming to America
eddie murphy's best movie

Friend says:
i agree

Me says:
Girl
You look so good, sombody oughta put you on a plate and sop you up wit a biscuit

Friend says:
hahahaha

Never Trust English

Am I the only one who thinks Traveling should be spelled with Two Ls?

Traveling... Travelling...

Tra-vell-ing? Trav-eling? Maybe I am wrong...

The Nietzsche Family Circus

Finally, someone made the Family Circus worthy of its farcical existence.

The Nietzsche Family Circus pairs a randomized Family Circus cartoon with a randomized Friedrich Nietzsche quote.

http://www.losanjealous.com/nfc/

The rest of the losanjealous website appears to be useless, unless you're a total music scene poser. (Hey, it sells ads...)

Thank you, Kotaku poster frieze.

You Can't Make This Shit Up

Putting AdSense up has paid off already:

The #1 Cougar Dating Community On The Net

Honestly, I'd LOVE to know what keyword prompted Google to place this ad...

"Don't Tase Me, Bro"

Because nothing's funnier than what you find when you're looking for something else:

Forget Tupperware, Get Ready for the Taser Party

"Army Lets a Felon Join Up, but N.Y.P.D. Will Not"

When you want Truth, you want the New York Times. Or is that truthiness...

Regardless, here's an interesting article.

You want to know why they won't let you in the NYPD, Specialist Osvaldo Hernandez?

Well, besides the obvious racial handicap as it pertains to decent employment in Ammurca, the NYPD has enough felons already!

NYPD Corruption Cases Surged in 2006

The revelations contained in the NYPD's Internal Affairs Bureau 2006 Annual Report - obtained by The Post - include:

• Arrests of New York's Finest rose 25 percent in 2006 over the previous year, from 91 to 114.
• The number of cops caught using drugs last year jumped 138 percent, from eight incidents the previous year to 19, including one cop using PCP (phencyclidine), and another shooting steroids into his butt.
• Fraud allegations involving insurance, credit card and welfare swindles rose 85 percent to 50 complaints from 27 the previous year.
• The number of cops stripped of their guns and badges and placed on modified duty jumped 55 percent, from 137 to 212, but suspensions fell 11 percent from 159 to 142.

Usually, I'm one to hate on the Post, but every now and again their attack dogs do something I rather enjoy:

The Post pieced together the accounts using sources, court records and district attorneys' offices, along with the tightly guarded annual IAB study.

For its part, the NYPD insisted The Post submit in writing its requests for specific case information and names of fired or disciplined cops, which the newspaper did on Aug. 14.

Since then, follow-up reminders, in person and via e-mail, have fallen on deaf ears.

God Bless the NYPD IAB? Seriously though, for your own sanity do not Google the following: NYPD Abuse (484,000 hits), NYPD Corruption (225,000 hits), or NYPD internal affairs (Only 147,000 hits buuut like 8 of the first 10 hits deal not with Internal Affairs but rather the cops they have arrested...)

God Bless Slashdot and Lawyers

Here's a fascinating blog I found written, and frequently updated, by lawyers who introduce themselves thusly:

Ty Rogers and Ray Beckerman.
-We are lawyers in New York City, practicing at Vandenberg & Feliu, LLP. We established this site to collect and share information about the wave of sham "copyright infringement" lawsuits brought by four large record companies to abuse the American judicial system, distort copyright law, and frighten ordinary working people and their children.

Recording Industry Vs. The People

And I thought sham lawsuits were as American as Apple Pie and Tactical Nuclear Bunker-Busters.